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This mix was really hard for me. I think I started something like four or five mixes before I finally settled on a format. Music is so important to me, it's a part of literally every aspect of my life. I cannot think of a time or moment of my life that doesn't have some kind of musical connection in my brain, so making a manageably sized mix was miserably hard, but I think I finally managed. I don't apologize for any of this, but I will say that there might be triggers beyond here for mental illness.

The first half (slightly more than half) of the mix is about me. They are songs that are important to me, songs that have shaped me or describe me in some way. The latter half is songs that I like, that touch me in my special place or make me smile. They speak more to my musical taste than the first half.




0 to Hero? Or when I was a kid, things weren't any easier, really.

  • IRON MAN by BLACK SABBATH
Iron Man was my lullaby as a child. My parents owned the old vinyl and a record player, and it was my nightly routine to get to listen to the extended live version of this. The catch was that I had to sit down and be calm so I wouldn't make the record skip, so it was how my parents got me to calm down before bed. Still a very comforting song that I turn to when I'm stressed.
  • WRONG WAY by SUBLIME
The summer I was thirteen, my best friend lived with us (her parents were out of the country). My parents were separated, so it was just my mom working long hours, and me and my best friend with our run of the house. It was an awesome summer, and it was the year that she turned me on to ska. One of my best memories of that summer was singing this song for my mom, only with all of the "inappropriate" content edited out. In retrospect, I'm surprised that my mom didn't kill us. >.>;;
  • BREATHE NO MORE by EVANESCENCE
This band's early albums (Fallen and Origin) were very important to my teenage years. I was suffering from then-undiagnosed bipolar disorder, with rapid cycling, and music became a touchstone for me. It was a way for me to describe how I was feeling, because I didn't understand what was going on. Some of the lyrics hit a little closer to home now that I'm on the other side of that diagnosis. ("Convince me that I've been sick forever/and this will all make sense when I get better.")

Up on a Mountaintop. Or why college was the best thing to ever happen to me, honestly.
  • LET ME BE MYSELF by 3 DOORS DOWN
I know, I know, it's cheesy as hell, but this song really strikes true. I kind of lost myself at the beginning of college. I was fighting a lot of things. My mom and dad were going through a nasty divorce and I was away from home for the first time (about 600 miles from home). I didn't know anyone in the state, I was scared and lonely and I didn't know who or what I was. But those four years really gave me the strength to stand up and be myself, not what everyone else wanted me to be. And it felt great. I came to peace with a lot of things in those years, including my mental health, my family life, and my dreams.
  • BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY by QUEEN
You would be hard pressed to find a period of time in my life where I did not know these lyrics and/or did not sing them with a remarkable frequency. Though I'll admit that the hey-day of this song's glory in my life was in college, when my friends and I would sing it pretty much constantly.
  • B.Y.O.B. by SYSTEM OF A DOWN
I learned something remarkable in college. When I'm manic, this is the speed my brain processes information, and its remarkably calming. This song got me through my thesis senior year of college.


Cast and Crew Discouts? Or the people and motivations behind the curtain.
  • CHASING THE SUN by SARA BAREILLES
This song really reminds me of someone special, my absolute best friend in the world (she's way more my sister than any blood family I've ever had). She's been my muse for a terribly long time (it makes me old to count exactly how long, but it's well over a decade now) and I hope that she knows how precious she is to me.
  • ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU by THE MOLDY PEACHES
So I get that this is like the hipster love anthem of the decade, but in my defense I really do think its perfect for me and my boyo <3. We've created this perfect life together, and I couldn't imagine anyone else. (Okay, enough sap >.>;;).
  • MEANT TO LIVE by SWITCHFOOT
Call it my motto. It fits.


Backstreets Back (where did they go again?)! Or what to do on a shitty day when you just need to smile.
  • GANGNAM STYLE by PSY
How could you not immediately be in a better mood listening to this? The beat is awesome all by itself, and I've long loved pop songs in Asiatic languages >.>;; I can't help but be in a better mood whenever I hear this song.
  • GET DOWN (YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME) by BACKSTREET BOYS
Go find whatever music it was you listened to when you were a kid (I was 10 when this album came out). If you do not immediately smile when you listen to it, then you probably aren't human.
  • ZERO TO HERO from HERCULES
My love of Disney musicals is no secret, but if I had to pick only one that would put me in a much better mood in NO TIME FLAT, then I'd have to go with this one <3 Oooohs and aaaaaahs all around?


Fighting for a Reason. Or when those songs just hit you right in the feels like whoa.
  • RIVERSIDE by REA GARVEY FT APOCALYPTICA
A relatively new song that I'm hooked on, but there are so many feels in this song. I absolutely love it. I've had spontaneous muse birth to it already!
  • I'M ALIVE by SHINEDOWN
I've always loved Shinedown. They're a band that's followed me since I was in high school, and everything they release is awesome. This song is from the "inspired by" the Avengers soundtrack. It touches a little close to home in the feels department.
  • ABRAHAM'S DAUGHTER by ARCADE FIRE
This one is strange for me, because I don't like much Arcade Fire. But I've been absolutely obsessed with this song since I first heard it. Still, the imagery hits me right in all my happy zones (I was a religious studies minor in college, so anything twisted Biblical gets me all hot and bothered) and the song is very pretty and yeah, I'm sorry, I'll stop now >.>;;;



SPOTIFY . YOUTUBE
youtube playlist has one alternate track because of availability
downloadable upon request

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